Dealing with Serious Conflict

I decided to separate this from low level conflict as a serious conflict often needs attending to differently.

If your conflicts are getting out of hand, if there is physical fighting, verbal abuse or even a lot of yelling then you need to do something about it. Sometimes conflict can also be discreet and quiet, but nasty, so be honest with yourself about your situation and if things are really ok.

If your (or any other) children are witnessing any serious conflict then your first priority needs to be getting them away from it, because kids need a stable home and life. Simple as that. This does not necessarily mean they can't see any of the people involved but they need to be away from the unhealthy situation.

There is no way that you are not being affected as well in this circumstance. Your stress levels will be high and your ability to think clearly becomes affected, which then affects everything else in your life. If you cannot find a way to resolve a conflict then you need to get away from it. Having time away from the other person can help you (and them) to have a clearer look at the situation and make better decisions. Get yourself some counselling if possible. In some cases you may need a go-between person to help you sort out practical issues (esp. with ex-partners etc.).

If you need help to get out please find the help, put aside any embarrassment or shame (you can deal with those feelings later). Call the police if you have to. A little bit of conflict is normal,  high levels are not healthy. So keep yourself and your children safe :)

I would love your comments on this issue, if you think I have missed anything let me know. It is so important.